Strangers!

Strangers they are all…
How I love strangers!!
And how I hate them…
Wish I could abate them…
The tussle of the lonely hour,
The juggle of the bustle,
Captured in the labyrinths,
Thoughts eager to jostle.

A fake smile is all I can do for you today,
An empty heart you’ll find dismayed…
There are no ties for me, except my own mind.
It runs too wild, leaving me behind.
Love I don’t deserve, until I find love in self.
Yet frittering away myself for want of pelf.

I don’t know when the fight begun,
I don’t know when I joined the run.
But solitude is my only weapon and field.
Deception my disguise and shield!
I don’t know when this cloak I’ll shun…
And when will end this marathon!

A foot against another I’ll keep.
No more delusions I’ll allow to seep…
The beauty and love I want to see
I will first make its haven in me
Don’t see me as I seem to be…
Don’t try to be my canopy…
The maze is mine and I will know,
How will I have to end the show!

So strangers you will all remain,
And loving life I will maintain.
No zone of comfort I will seek,
No secure ground will make me meek.
The challenge of becoming whole…
Being the mark of an ambitious soul,
And when everything to my self I’ll turn,
I’ll know I fumbled and I learned.


Now the seeking has begun,
To first be and then become,
I seek nor seeking nor the sought,
No more wallowing in traps of thought
In love’s reverence,
I’ll find my existence.
And find me in everything,
And everything in myself!


“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.”
----Buddha

The Eyes of Truth.

I feel like shutting myself out of everyone at times. To live a loner life, Solitude is a 'Joy Forever' I feel. Marriage, children, family, relationships are good to fantasize. I Love to be a 'self absorbed'- 'uncaring'- 'unyeilding'- 'nerdish'- 'weird' fool. I could go on pretending to myself that i dont need anyone, misinterpreting and twisting the meanings of quotes to my advantage and defense. But there is one thing that i really dread bout solitude-- "Truth", the glaring truth. It stands right infront of you, looking at you in the eye (no matter where you look!).



It wispers- "Where does it hurt?"



Me: "Excuse me! Hurt?"



"Well... You liked da sparlke in dat kids eye, You liked dat warm touch of dat friend who tried to hold your hand, You liked dat old man who started singing wid you when you thought no one was listening, you liked when a guy passed a sweet smile to you when passing you by, And you shrugged them all off! What are you trying to protect?"

True love is complete vulnerability

I was driving across the burning desert

When I spotted six jet planes

Leaving six white vapor trails across the bleak terrain

It was the hexagram of the heavens

It was the strings of my guitarAmelia,

it was just a false alarm

The drone of flying engines

Is a song so wild and blue

It scrambles time and seasons if it gets thru to you

Then your life becomes a travelogue

Of picture-post-card-charms

Amelia, it was just a false alarm

People will tell you where theyve gone

Theyll tell you where to go

But till you get there yourself you never really know

Where some have found their paradise

Others just come to harm

Oh amelia, it was just a false alarm

I wish that he was here tonight

Its so hard to obey

His sad request of me to kindly stay away

So this is how I hide the hurt

As the road leads cursed and charmed

I tell amelia, it was just a false alarm

A ghost of aviation

She was swallowed by the sky

Or by the sea, like me she had a dream to fly

Like icarus ascending

On beautiful foolish arms

Amelia, it was just a false alarm

Maybe Ive never really loved

I guess that is the truth

Ive spent my whole life in clouds at icy altitude

And looking down on everything

I crashed into his arms

Amelia, it was just a false alarm

I pulled into the cactus tree motel

To shower off the dust

And I slept on the strange pillows of my wanderlust

I dreamed of 747s

Over geometric farms

Dreams, amelia, dreams and false alarms.

Joni Mitchell

Is the beauty of the moon in its light?
Or its the enchanting enigma of the dark night!

Which is more important for existence... light or dark? Sound or silence? Love or loathe? Small or big? Would you define in terms Good or bad? why not?

- 'The music of varience is the complexity of existence...'

Dualities is all that the mind knows! A south has to have a north to exist!

-'Infinite on one side, incessant on the other...'

"Man lies in the abyss between infinitely small and infinitely large."
-Pascal

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

Chorus:You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at anytime
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

Repeat chorusWear it out (like a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (youre gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend
Repeat chorus
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

"I Love those who know not how to live except the down-goers, for they are the over-goers."***
-Friedrich Nietzsche.


***and have fun on your way! ;)

Home again...........

Proving!! Damn!! How I hate this proving… everyone, everything wants proof…of your love, your talents, there is no resort without proving… and I hate trying to prove anything. It makes me feel meager and small!! The ever unjudgemental God… He too wants proof of His love… “Touch but don’t feel…” that’s the proof for his love!!

Damn!! It’s so easy to do all things wrong… the devil way… letting yourself loose!! And what’s wrong in doing all things wrong?? Oh yeah!! Consequences… Cause and Effect!! Who can fuckin escape this law!! Oh so here is where the phrase ‘God Fearing’ fits in…interesting!!

So God… u pretty smart… huh?? What a crafty trap!! Commendable!! … but then you are the one who is loosing… you have just managed to make them fear you!! Where is love??

I know when I start off to search for love as a beginner, as an idealist… I was searching for you… but then I don’t end up with you… rather I end up with some messy human being, who does havoc to my already fucked up brain!! That’s right!! Its in tangles, its crazy and I’ve lost all patience to get it untangled and so I’ve come to you… OK!! Bingo!! I get your point!! So it’s a trap again!! Hmmmm!!

Hey God… can I just hang around with you for a while… its too crazy out there, it’s a frenzy!! I want to be at home… take some sleep!! My eyes are tired and feet bruised… could you just stroke my head gently for a while… past all proving!!

I know I have been stupid, real stupid!! But its gonna be alright … for this love… this pure, beautiful unconditional love… it must pain so much…huh?? To see me in pain… making my wishes your own… even when its not in accordance with your wishes… but you in a distance, shying away from it all… thirsty for love!! Thirsty to see every particle flapper with joy… joy of freedom!! Of existence!! And how stupid I have been to shy away from that joy, that love!!

But now its time… I want to come home… I want to be free again!! I want to flapper again!! I am meant to… don’t worry I’ll do it… all for you... for myself… you be right here like a guiding star… I know you will be… after all my wish is your wish… I’ll do any amount of proving to come home… So long??

A stranger to the land…

It’s not out there for anyone to see. I don’t give it the ‘due’ importance. But then I have no dues. Except the moments i steal, not to be myself. No other dues i can think of.

“The only obligation one has is towards his own self. Obligation towards anything or anyone is not only entirely nonexistent but also the sign of a fake Messiha”

It’s me who should clearly define it…if I miss on that even for a second I feel incomplete…I cannot move on ahead. I want it perfect. I want it precise. Yes I know you cannot see any physical manifestations…I don’t see any either. What should I call it? Empty dreams…NO!! Damn!! No!! I don’t like the sound of that…I have created them, nurtured them and made them grow...they are not empty… I don’t care what you say!! What have you done except judging!!

But then I probably do care… I try to paint… I fail, but try again…

Then I hear it in a whisper… unconfident whisper… gentle it is…but hesitant." You own Nothing in this world except the perfect within you… the idealistic, and in the name of the perfect, you own Everything.That is what you should care for-The Perfect. That is what keeps you going…" yes indeed.

The struggle remains to turn the whisper into a song- loud and clear.