Is the beauty of the moon in its light?
Or its the enchanting enigma of the dark night!

Which is more important for existence... light or dark? Sound or silence? Love or loathe? Small or big? Would you define in terms Good or bad? why not?

- 'The music of varience is the complexity of existence...'

Dualities is all that the mind knows! A south has to have a north to exist!

-'Infinite on one side, incessant on the other...'

"Man lies in the abyss between infinitely small and infinitely large."
-Pascal

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

Chorus:You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at anytime
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

Repeat chorusWear it out (like a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (youre gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend
Repeat chorus
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

"I Love those who know not how to live except the down-goers, for they are the over-goers."***
-Friedrich Nietzsche.


***and have fun on your way! ;)

Home again...........

Proving!! Damn!! How I hate this proving… everyone, everything wants proof…of your love, your talents, there is no resort without proving… and I hate trying to prove anything. It makes me feel meager and small!! The ever unjudgemental God… He too wants proof of His love… “Touch but don’t feel…” that’s the proof for his love!!

Damn!! It’s so easy to do all things wrong… the devil way… letting yourself loose!! And what’s wrong in doing all things wrong?? Oh yeah!! Consequences… Cause and Effect!! Who can fuckin escape this law!! Oh so here is where the phrase ‘God Fearing’ fits in…interesting!!

So God… u pretty smart… huh?? What a crafty trap!! Commendable!! … but then you are the one who is loosing… you have just managed to make them fear you!! Where is love??

I know when I start off to search for love as a beginner, as an idealist… I was searching for you… but then I don’t end up with you… rather I end up with some messy human being, who does havoc to my already fucked up brain!! That’s right!! Its in tangles, its crazy and I’ve lost all patience to get it untangled and so I’ve come to you… OK!! Bingo!! I get your point!! So it’s a trap again!! Hmmmm!!

Hey God… can I just hang around with you for a while… its too crazy out there, it’s a frenzy!! I want to be at home… take some sleep!! My eyes are tired and feet bruised… could you just stroke my head gently for a while… past all proving!!

I know I have been stupid, real stupid!! But its gonna be alright … for this love… this pure, beautiful unconditional love… it must pain so much…huh?? To see me in pain… making my wishes your own… even when its not in accordance with your wishes… but you in a distance, shying away from it all… thirsty for love!! Thirsty to see every particle flapper with joy… joy of freedom!! Of existence!! And how stupid I have been to shy away from that joy, that love!!

But now its time… I want to come home… I want to be free again!! I want to flapper again!! I am meant to… don’t worry I’ll do it… all for you... for myself… you be right here like a guiding star… I know you will be… after all my wish is your wish… I’ll do any amount of proving to come home… So long??

A stranger to the land…

It’s not out there for anyone to see. I don’t give it the ‘due’ importance. But then I have no dues. Except the moments i steal, not to be myself. No other dues i can think of.

“The only obligation one has is towards his own self. Obligation towards anything or anyone is not only entirely nonexistent but also the sign of a fake Messiha”

It’s me who should clearly define it…if I miss on that even for a second I feel incomplete…I cannot move on ahead. I want it perfect. I want it precise. Yes I know you cannot see any physical manifestations…I don’t see any either. What should I call it? Empty dreams…NO!! Damn!! No!! I don’t like the sound of that…I have created them, nurtured them and made them grow...they are not empty… I don’t care what you say!! What have you done except judging!!

But then I probably do care… I try to paint… I fail, but try again…

Then I hear it in a whisper… unconfident whisper… gentle it is…but hesitant." You own Nothing in this world except the perfect within you… the idealistic, and in the name of the perfect, you own Everything.That is what you should care for-The Perfect. That is what keeps you going…" yes indeed.

The struggle remains to turn the whisper into a song- loud and clear.

Untitled

Was browsing through my diary... found them scribbled... felt like sharing... well i dont remember the origin but surely not one of my compositions...

"NEED NO STARS TO LIGHT THE WAY...
HOLD NO HANDS TO CROSS THOSE HURDLES...
BORROW NO WORDS TO FLOOR THE WORLD...
LOOK FOR NO SHARED GLORY TO SHINE...
MAKE NO FRIEND, PAY YOUR PRICE...

WHEN YOU FIND YOUR FEET,
OTHERS FALL IN STEP."

Self

Dont lift the self by the self,
and dont let the self down,
cause the self is the self's only friend,
and the self is the self's only enemy.

The self is the friend to that self
by which self the very self is subdued.
but to him who does not possess the self,
in enemity will abide his very self like an enemy.

Bhagwat Gita.

Deep down inside there is a certain point within me which never believes in defeat, which never believes in winning. A certain point which is detached to the most limiting restrictions ,Which is uninfluenced by the most painful pains, which is untouched by the deepest emotional expression, which is most dispassionate about the most passionate glorifications and praises. I haven’t quiet caught it yet…it comes to me in a flash… sometimes in between angry declarations, sometimes in passionate but empty words, sometimes in rational judgments, sometimes caught in between a fear… big or small, sometimes in solitude with painful yearnings for a beloved… I carry it almost everywhere, every time, it waits for me to make a choice… it’s safe in a distance, looking at me intently, sometimes laughing... denying the seriousness of life. I don’t know what to feel or say about it, but this much is for sure - its never angry, its never passionate, it’s never empty, its never judgmental, it never fears, it never yearns, its never in pain …its independent… its free of any mental abstraction, its pure nothingness !! And strangely sometimes I have the feeling that it’s ME!!